Odnos
Posle ne znam koliko vremena nada! da ja možda i umem i mogu da uđem u neki zreliji, praktičniji, otvoreniji i realniji odnos. Kao da je razgovor sa čmž-om produvao moje energetske i intelektualne kanale koji su bili puni mulja i strahova nakon poslednjeg fijaska od veze.
Ja u stvari to zaslužujem i mogu da dobijem, što je najbitnije. Imam kvalitete i ne moram nikoga da jurim i molim za ljubav. Ne moram ni tako dramatično sve to da doživljavam. Odnosi nastaju svaki dan, koliko im pažnje poklonimo toliko će nam i značiti.
A tako je okrepljujuće i nadahnjujuće kada osetiš da te neko razume i sluša, da je otvoren i da razmenjujete energiju jedno s drugim. Bez inhibicija, kompleksa, strahova uz poštovanje granica i pokazivanja nežnosti i naklonosti. Predivno. To svaki dan može ulepšati i učiniti vrednim življenja ili bar podsećati na neku svrhu.
Definitivno je najjači taj osećaj prihvatanja i instinktivne ljubavi, dečje, iskrene radosti kada upoznaš nekog ko priča tvojim jezikom, a taj jezik je prešao u viši diskurs i ne svodi se samo na očajno, patetično povezivanje usled straha od samoće.
Primećujem da sam daleko stabilnija i sigurnija u sebe. Da dopuštam sebi da pokažem pravo lice i da se obradujem ako se ono nekom svidi. Moj identitet sada već dobija zaštitne granice i ego je jači. Svesna sam svoje samostalnosti i uspeha da ispunim svoje prizemne ciljeve bez previše stresa i žrtvovanja.
Postajem ponosna na svoju inteligenciju, a i na izgled. Još uvek se gubim u toj samodovoljnosti pa padnem na par dana mentalno i duhovno, ali sada sve mnogo kraće traje i nije više tako strašno. Ništa nije smak sveta
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